North Carolina Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention

DJJDP's Education sections within our Youth Development Division is promoting the following guide for teachers, and employees to use as a tool to help children in our custody deal with the aftermath of America's most recent tragedy. Guilford School System Dr. Jane D. Yong wonderfully created the guide; Superintendent of our YDC schools has adapted the guide to suit our needs at DJJDP. As a public service, we want to share this guide with you. The information may be beneficial in dealing with children in your own families. Children in the U.S. have never experienced an attack on the United States as a reality. Never have our children experienced anything like the events that began Tuesday morning with planes crashing into the World Trade Center. All children need the support of caring adults to help them deal with this national crisis.

Emotional Responses

Emotional responses vary in nature and severity from child to child. Nonetheless, there are some common ways in how children (and adults) feel when their lives are impacted by acts of terrorism.

Fear: Fear may be the main reaction - fear for the safety of you and your family as well as those involved. A child's picture of terrorism may include a bomb dropped on their home. Their worries may seem unreasonable, but to them, they are quite possible. Children will hear rumors at school and may let their imaginations run wild. They may think the worst, however unrealistic it may be. The threat of further terrorism or war may also add to their fear. Other fears may be experienced as a result of media coverage (radio, television, newspapers). Fears or concerns may be about friends or relatives in the immediate vicinity of the terrorism.

Loss of control: Terrorist actions are something over which children - and most adults - have no control. Lack of control can be overwhelming and confusing. Children may grasp at any control that they can have.

Anger: Anger is not an unusual reaction. Unfortunately, anger is often expressed to those with whom children are most secure. Children may be angry with people in other countries for their acts of terrorism. Children should be allowed to express their feelings during this time.

Loss of stability: Terrorism interrupts the natural order of things. It is very unsettling. Stability is gone, and this is very threatening. It can destroy trust and upset balance and a sense of security.

Uncertainty: Children who have relatives or friends living in New York or Washington will be concerned that they do not know if their loved ones are safe. The lack of information over the next several days will only increase the uncertainty. If a child has suffered other losses or traumatic events, memories of those events may surface.

What can I do as a caretaker of children?

• Acknowledge the children's feelings.
  
  
• Knowing what to say is often difficult. When no other words come to mind, saying, "This is really hard for you/us" may help.
  
  
• Try to recognize the feelings underlying children's actions and put them into words. Say something like, "I can see you are feeling really scared about this."
  
  
• Recognize that a child may be fearful for his/her immediate safety. Reassure the child that the government, the military, and other adults are taking actions to ensure our safety.
  
  
• Sometimes children may have an overwhelming fear that they are unable to put into words that you may need to voice for them.
  
  
• At times when children are most upset, don't deny the seriousness of the situation. Saying to children, "Don't cry, everything will be okay," does not reflect how the child feels and does not make them feel better. Nevertheless, don't forget to express hope and faith that things will be all right.
  
  
• Older children in particular may need help identifying what they individually believe about war and terrorism. Questions such as "How could anyone do something like this?" may need discussion.

Help children put their fears in perspective.

• Help children to feel personally safe.
  
  
• Discuss what is realistic modern technology versus science fiction.
  
  
• Help children understand that precautions are being taken to prevent terrorism (passport checks, heightened airport security) that might actually make them safer than they already are.
  
  
• Try to maintain normal routines to provide a sense of security.
  
  
• Help children feel a sense of control by taking some action. Send letters through the mail to those who have been impacted.
  
  
• Don't let children focus too much of their time or energy on news coverage of the tragedy. Find other activities to keep the children occupied.
  
  
• Take time for yourself and try to deal with your own reactions to the situation.