Denise Chrisman

The goal of anger management is to teach that anger is a normal, healthy emotion. We want girls to understand that as an emotion, anger is not only healthy but also temporary. All emotions pass with time. The BEHAVIORS while one is angry is what usually gets them involved in unhealthy activities. Anger management will teach girls to think before they react in anger or lose control and teach that anger is an emotion, a feeling. What they do because of that feeling is a behavior. We want to teach them to "think" between the feeling and the behavior. This is the key to anger management.

Be sure to discuss with her that doing nothing and "stuffing" the anger is not management. The anger will surface in the form of stress, health problems, or depression.

Six Anger Styles:

1. Stuffers. These people are conflict avoiders and hide their anger. They do not deal with the emotions and their anger usually surfaces in other ways such as headaches, stomach pains, or other physical ailments.
   
   
2. Withdrawers. These folks tend to be passive aggressive. The express their anger in subtle, indirect ways. They do not deal directly with the issues and therefore don't get the problem solved.
   
   
3. Blamers. They blame everyone and everything else for their problems. They tend to name call, become aggressive, or put others down.
   
   
4. Trianglers. Trianglers tend to express their anger in a manipulative way. They usually pull in a third party instead of directly expressing their anger. They are angry with someone so they will pull in someone else to also be angry with that person.
   
   
5. Exploders. These people use violence to express their anger.
   
   
6. Problem Solvers. Problem solvers admit they are angry and then deal with the issues that make them angry. This is a healthy way to deal with anger. They put the energy caused by anger towards change.

Identifying how she deals with her anger is the first step to helping her control it.