Girl Power

What hard decisions do you have to make? Learning the six decision-making steps can help you when you're faced with tough decisions. The story of Kia and Renee is a good example to follow.

Kia and Renee used to be close friends. But in the last couple of months, they haven't been doing much together. Renee seems closer to a different group, and Kia doesn't really like Renee's new friends - she hears that they're a bad crowd. Kia doesn't know what to do.

In order for Kia to figure out a solution to her concerns, she needs to decide what is really bothering her. Sometimes this can be hard. For example, Kia needs to look at all the things that are bothering her.

1. Decide what the real problem is.
   
   Is the real problem that: (A) Kia wants her friendship with Renee to be the way it used to be? (B) Kia is hurt that Renee has a new set of friends? (C) Kia is worried that these new friends may not be good for Renee? or (D) Kia wants to figure out a way not to be friends with Renee anymore, but doesn't want to hurt her feelings?
   
   For Kia, the real problem was A. Figuring out the real problem is the first step to knowing what information you will need to make a good decision.
   
   
2. Get information.
   
   Kia needs some information to make a decision about what to do. What are some things she needs to find out?
   
   Renee may have thought that Kia didn't like her anymore, so she looked for a new group of friends. This year, Kia joined two new clubs - Renee didn't. Maybe their interests are changing and making them grow apart. Kia's idea about Renee's new friends may be wrong - maybe they're a great group of people. On the other hand, the school gossip hotline could be 100 percent correct and the group may be trouble! How could Kia get the information she needs? Who could she talk to? She could talk to a teacher, her parents, other kids at school, another adult who knows her and Renee, a friend who knows them both, Renee's parents, and of course, Renee herself.
   
   Kia talked to her older sister who told her that Renee's new friends definitely deserved their bad reputation.
   
   
3. Make a list of possible decisions and decide which are good ones and bad ones.
   
   Here's Kia's list:
   -Talk to Renee tomorrow. Tell her what I heard about her friends. She will probably get mad at me.
   -Call Renee. See if she wants to come over this weekend and ask my sister to talk to her.
   - Just drop Renee. She can be friends with whomever she wants.
   - Keep asking Renee to do stuff but don't say anything about her new friends.
   
   What do you think Kia should do?
   
   
4. Make a decision.
   
   .Kia decided B was the best choice. She still liked Renee a lot. Saying nothing wasn't a good idea and seeing Renee without saying anything would be too hard. She talked to her sister, who thought B was the best choice too.
   
   
5. Act on your decision.
   
   Kia called Renee, but Renee didn't want to get together. So, Kia told her what she had heard. Renee got very angry and called Kia a liar. Kia asked Renee to listen to her sister, but Renee hung up the phone.
   
   Was Kia's Decision Wrong?
   No, but even when you make the right decision, things may not always turn out the way you hope they will. Kia's decision was good, but maybe she waited too long to talk to Renee. Maybe Renee just isn't interested in staying friends so there's nothing Kia can do. What do you think Kia should do next?
   
   
6. Think about your decision.
   
   What did you learn? Should you make a different decision next time?
   
   Kia decided that if Renee came to talk to her or called her, she'd try to stay friends. Kia also made up her mind to spend more time with other friends.
   
   Do you have a decision to make?
   Try the six steps. Share your decision-making steps with a friend or adult.