www.Teenpregnancy.org

1. Here are the kinds of questions kids say they want to discuss:
   -How do I know if I'm in love? Will sex bring me closer to my girlfriend/boyfriend?
   -How will I know when I'm ready to have sex? Should I wait until marriage?
   -Will having sex make me popular? Will it make me more grown-up and open up more adult activities to me?
   -How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to have sex without losing him or hurting his feelings?
   -How do I manage pressure from my girlfriend to have sex?
   -How does contraception work? Are some methods better than others? Are they safe?
   -Can you get pregnant the first time?
   
   In addition to being an "askable parent," be a parent with a point of view. Tell your children what you think. Don't be reluctant to say, for example:
   -I think kids in high school are too young to have sex, especially given today's risks.
   -Whenever you do have sex, always use protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases until you are ready to have a child.
   - Our family's religion says that sex should be an expression of love within marriage.
   - Finding yourself in a sexually charged situation is not unusual; you need to think about how you'll handle it in advance. Have a plan. Will you say "no"? Will you use contraception? How will you negotiate all this?
   - It's okay to think about sex and to feel sexual desire. Everybody does! But it's not okay to get pregnant/get somebody pregnant as a teenager.
   - One of the many reasons I'm concerned about teens drinking is that it often leads to unprotected sex.
   - (For boys) Having a baby doesn't make you a man. Being able to wait and acting responsibly does.
   - (For girls) You don't have to have sex to keep a boyfriend. If sex is the price of a close relationship, find someone else.
   
   By the way, research clearly shows that talking with your children about sex does not encourage them to become sexually active. And remember, too, that your own behavior should match your words. The "do as I say, not as I do" approach is bound to lose with children and teenagers, who are careful and constant observers of the adults in their lives.
   
   
2. Supervise and monitor your children and adolescents. Establish rules, curfews, and standards of expected behavior, preferably through an open process of family discussion and respectful communication. If your children get out of school at 3 pm and you don't get home from work until 6 pm, who is responsible for making certain that your children are not only safe during those hours, but also are engaged in useful activities? Where are they when they go out with friends? Are there adults around who are in charge? Supervising and monitoring your kids' whereabouts doesn't make you a nag; it makes you a parent.
   
   
3. Know your children's friends and their families. Friends have a strong influence on each other, so help your children and teenagers become friends with kids whose families share your values. Some parents of teens even arrange to meet with the parents of their children's friends to establish common rules and expectations. It is easier to enforce a curfew that all your child's friends share rather than one that makes him or her different-but even if your views don't match those of other parents, hold fast to your convictions. Welcome your children's friends into your home and talk to them openly.
   
   
4. Discourage early, frequent, and steady dating. Group activities among young people are fine and often fun, but allowing teens to begin steady, one-on-one dating much before age 16 can lead to trouble. Let your child know about your strong feelings about this throughout childhood-don't wait until your young teen proposes a plan that differs from your preferences in this area; otherwise, he or she will think you just don't like the particular person or invitation.